I read about Sarah Kay for the first time on my friends blog and the piece was The type. It resonated and triggered a response. For a while, I debated with myself on whether to leave it in my draft or post it…
Here goes My type! Inspired by Sarah Kay’s The type
I’ve always been the type of woman men want to look at,
So I didn’t let them look
I mistook their eyes for hands
So I covered up in loose clothes and a boyish style.
I didn’t know to let them see what a woman looked like.
I didn’t realize that they may not have seen one before.
I’ve always been the type of woman men want to touch,
But I refused their touch
I didn’t think it was me they were really reaching for
Maybe a bottle, a meal or another woman.
I just didn’t think they could see ‘me’
So before their hands could find me, I made them my brothers.
And became guardian, muse, friend and mentor.
As a woman with skin and bones, veins and nerves, hair and sweat
I wasn’t made out of metaphors, excuses or apologies
But I have grown to be a woman men want to hold
Now I know to let them hold me,
Knowing that only a few will want to learn what it feels like to curl themselves into a question mark around me
And admit that they do not have the answers they thought they would by now.
Some men want to hold me- They think I’m the answer
I’m not the answer and I’m not the question.
I am not the prayer either
Nor the joke or punch-line.
Sometimes I want to nibble so I take the role of a snack
But I am definitely not the victim
I don’t know if I’m the type men want to love,
But I will let them love me
And I will love them in return
Knowing that I have limbs
And I can walk the rope when the crowds have all gone home.
I’m not going to waste my time wondering if I am the type of woman men will hurt,
If he leaves me with a fast beating heart, I will learn to dance to the beat.
I will forgive myself for my decisions If I need to
Because I know that I am the type of woman who is searching for a place to call
The walls can come down
The pots can shatter
I am the place and the sun
I can build it
I will build it.