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15 lessons I’ve actually learnt from Life

I’m not that old, at least in my heart and soul but every now and then, I feel life moving on. Different people and experiences have taught me different things in my short life but these 15 things have stuck.

1. Old friends are the best.

2. Honesty lets you sleep well at night. Without guilt.

3. A generous part of your life is spent at work with people you didn’t particularly choose so make sure you get along with your colleagues.

4. Show love when you can and then show some more love.

5. Help out whenever you can even if the person is undeserving.

6. Give what you can when you can.

7. People hurt us everyday. Steam over it and let it go after that.

8. Music cheers you up. Always.

9. Make people happy or at least try.

10. Take chances whenever you can. You never know where it might lead.

11. Dance whenever you hear music even if its only in your head.

12. Laugh even when things are not funny.

13. Forgive every err.

14. Travel to new places when you can.

15. Love yourself. Absolutely! 

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for the love of convos

I like having conversations with people. Scratch that. I like having conversations with insightful people. In one of our random days at the office, Obasanjo’s name came up and I mentioned I would like to have a conversation with Obasanjo. Amidst jokes and questions about why I would think of such, we all started mentioning people we would like to have conversations with.

Here’s my list:

Olusegun Obasanjo. I get the impression he’s a wise and witty man. I’d like to ask him what he really thinks about Leadership in Nigeria, Farming and Women. He was a leader in Nigeria, he is a farmer, he is also portrayed as a man who is extremely comfortable in his own skin.

Diezani Maduekwe. She’s at the Helm of Nigeria’s major source of income and is holding it down pretty well (at least in my opinion) Every time, there’s a report about her activities, whether well-meaning or not, she always comes across as a very astute, precise, classy and intelligent woman. I’d like to ask her how she holds it all together. Her family, her work and her life in general.

Nse Ikpe-Etim. I have a huge female crush on Nse. She seems down to earth, real and funny and with a unique sense of style too. With her, I’d just like to talk to her about everything. Love, Life, Work and her aspirations.

Majid Michel. Cos he seems to be very deep and I like having deep conversations.

John Legend. What does he think about when he’s composing his songs? His songs strike all the chords in my heart and head.

Illbliss. How did he know that rapping in his mother tongue will become a trendy thing in the future?

Olamide. He seems so real and honestly talented. I always listen to him even though I have to ask my Yoruba friends to interpret.

Isio Wanogho. I like her love of self and the way she expresses herself.   

I hope I get to have conversation with these people.

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The Aftermath

Its been a while since I posted anything here. I usually don’t like excuses but I have a valid one. (I think) I was preparing for my certification exams. I am certified now, after procrastinating about it for months cos I was afraid I was not ready. Thank God I passed.

Now what?

That seems to be the bone I’ve been gnawing at ever since I passed my exams. What next? What do I do now? Where do I go next? I feel almost clueless. I also realize that I was happy when I was preparing for my exams, and now that I’m done and the euphoria of being certified has passed, I don’t know know what i feel.

In a bid to get a semblance of order to my thoughts on what my next action should be, I recently started reading a book and somewhere along the line, I remembered I had a outlined a set of goals to achieve this year……………………………………

So far, (it’s the 3rd week into the 2nd half of the year) I’m so far from where I think I should be right now. I’m not exactly where I started from but I’m still very far. And I know why… So I’m going to create another system that inculcates all i need to achieve this year. Hopefully I will get somewhere soon.

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Our Heroes Past

After watching a couple of movies that highlight our African story I realize that I’m privileged.

To have been born in an era where girls can be seen and heard (who knows, maybe I would have had to use a mImageale alias and a typewriter to blog if not- that’s if I hadn’t already been hung to death for my outspoken ways)

I’m glad that I was not born in the era of twins being “murdered” (Otherwise I wouldn’t have my cute twin cousins)…

Or in the era where I would have had to seat on the black side of the restaurant or bus if D took me out on a date…

Or in the era where female education was unheard of, or we wouldn’t have the Okonjo-Iwealas, the Adichies, or the Otitoju’s of today…

Or in the era where I would have been subordinates to the likes of Esaura (the slave girl) or maybe more like Patsey since I’m black. An where the highest ambition I would have had, would be as a help or the wife of the chief butler in Aso rock…Image

I’m glad I don’t have to walk to the farm (I go to work with the bus or the cabs or the front seat of my colleagues car and act like we bought the car together) Even though I most likely would have achieved my #ProjectHotBody as default if I had to walk to the farm…

I’m glad I don’t have to climb the trees to get juice (Palmwine or Mango) I go to the stores…

I’m glad I don’t have to wait for festival season for a family member who is travelling to a faraway distance to deliver a message to my friend after maybe 3 months – I just ping her…

I’m glad I wasn’t born in the era where I’d have to go topless with a low slung mini wrapper to cover my African buttocks just to signify I was a young nubile unmarried chic –  even though that might not have been a bad idea – interesting thought, breeze everywhere…

I’m glad I wasn’t an adult in the era where if you had an opinion contrary to that of the Government in power and you made that opinion known, you’d either just disappear into thin air or get thrown into jail for treason or die…

I’m glad I wasn’t an adult in the era where it was fashionable to use black eye pencil to draw narrow half arcs on thImagee eyebrow after shaving off all the eyebrow hair given to females by God…

This is me basically recognizing all our heroes past and finally understanding the vision they had and the sacrifices they made
– just so I and all the people in my generation will know some semblance of humanity and not the terror that they experienced.

While I hope their reward is in heaven, I think that a more fulfilling reward would be for my generation to realize that what we take for granted TODAY was the backbone of certain individuals YESTERDAY and it cost some of them their lives.

The baton has been passed to us to make our nation and world a better place for the ones who will come after us.

To all our heroes known and unknown- we salute!

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The girl across the table

 

I’m looking at the girl sitting across the table in my office.Image

I hear her make a case for herself about how having stereotypes closes one’s mind to possibilities and how her lack of stereotype makes her a better human being than the rest of us (at least that’s what I think she means)

I hear her tell another colleague that he has no filter, describing to him how he should sieve some of his thoughts and not let them all bubble out of his mouth. She goes on to explain to him (self righteously if I might add) that he should watch what he says to people and learn to respect boundaries.

I hear yet another colleague try to get a rise out of her and I see signs of her irritation start to show on her face. I see her take offence when she doesn’t really need to and I see her get defensive when she realizes he’s just trying to get to her and then I see her finally draw the line.

It all seems rather funny to me ‘cos I think one should always speak their mind and be true to themselves but one should also have a care for the next person. She seems to have a valid point but then again who judges a guy for having no filter when he’s actually just being honest (albeit without tact) to himself the only way he knows.

And then I wonder   “ hey who am I to judge the girl? ”

Besides she’s beginning to stare at me like she knows what I’m thinking. I don’t like the way her eyes bore into mine so judgementally.

I quickly put down the mirror.

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Next of Kin

Image

In case of emergency, please call…
Next of kin???

I always feel a twinge in my belly whenever I see this somewhere.

Who is my next of kin?

There are people in our lives who don’t share the same name or even tribe with us but we feel comfortable enough to call them family.

Sometimes they are even closer to us than those who share our names.

They are usually the ones who can read every nuance of your expression and understand those jokes you try to hide in a blank stare or indifferent shrug,

They are the ones who know when you are scared to death but trying not to show it.

They are the ones who know when to tickle you or when to laugh at you or when to compare you to B Beyonce (and still love you even though you fall short or will swear with a straight face that you are hotter than Beyonce)

They are the ones who know when silence is all you need and they are the ones who will laugh at you the most.

They are the ones who know that you probably want to donate your organs as against remaining a vegetable should (God forbid) something untoward happen to you.

They are the ones who “GET” you.

Your same name family will always love you and take your shit even when they don’t understand what you are about- God commanded them to do so that’s why he made you family (they don’t have a choice -the way I see it) but these ones have a choice and every time you mess up and spill your poo everywhere, they make a choice to accept your poo, eat it with you, smear some of it on you and finally help you clean it and they do this loving you

Your same name family makes the world go round but these people- your spirit family, they complete you

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Mountain dreamer

A friend of mine posted this on his Blog a while ago and reading it gave me the shivers so I saved it.

Poem #1 Our Deepest Fear -By Marianne Williamson

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness
That most frightens us.

We ask ourselves
Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.

Your playing small
Does not serve the world.
There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking
So that other people won’t feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine,
As children do.
We were born to make manifest
The glory of God that is within us.

It’s not just in some of us;
It’s in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine,
We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we’re liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.

Today (30th of August) I realize that a lot has changed in my life and that I have a deeper understanding of the poem.

Circumstances and events have forced me to challenge what I knew about myself and what i am afraid of.

Now I’m facing my fears, one day at a time, and it feels good to know that in facing them, I’m unconsciously permitting others to let their light shine, the way others have done for me.

It feels good to know that my decisions and actions are liberating others even if I don’t know who they are.

I ain’t playing small no more…

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My near Danfo accident

22/10/13

That is how Danfo pushed me inside gutter this morning
Here I was looking nice and feeling fly with my New hair cut and bold make-up and next thing I know I’m flying in the air and forming spiderman while struggling to hold on to the walls inside the gutter but lai lai I still entered the gutter. All in the space of a few seconds.

And the bus driver now said I was too small for him to notice – me in all my 5ft 5 size 12 glory was too invisible for him to take note of.

Hian!

I was seriously shaken by the incident but I’m fine now.

Thank you Lord.

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Re: Solemn Souvenirs

Ok there’s something about reading Imisi’s words that gets me smiling, pondering and worked up. Yea worked up.
Makes me feel like there is somebody out there that’s a bit like me. Or maybe more than a bit…
The differences are quite vast but there’s no refuting the similarities.

His words make me smile and inspires mine. Weird hunh?

Well he wrote about weird things he’d like to do before he oofs and I thought I’d do the same.http://demestified.com/2013/10/18/solemn-souvenirs/

Here’s mine:

Travel: I’d like to visit the hidden corners of the world and find all the treasures they hide. AIESEC has started this journey for me already and I’m going to continue it

Food: I looooove food and so I’d love to taste all the peculiar food I would find in the hidden corners of the world- I’ve already started…

Skydiving: I just recently added this- I want to know if I’ll pee in my pants or if I’m an adrenaline junkie

Give birth to all my kids at once: Yea. I want triplets.

Best friends- In my case they were all best friends at different times in my life and have evolved into something deeper(if that’s possible) anyway I don’t want any of them knowing who was more of a best friend to me. Even after I’m gone. They need to keep the memories.

I’d like to get my mum to understand that while I’m like her, there’s a part of me that is distinctly just me and I’m okay with it

I’d want to have the kind of Christmas holiday with friends that the guys in Bestman’s Holiday had. And I want it with all the drama

I’d like to have an organization that has the solutions to half the worlds problem, like the one in the series Human Target

I’d like to convince Busola that Travelling is an awesome way to experience life

I’d like to marry for love and stay married in love

I’d like to reconnect with room 26 goons and all our affiliations and have us expose all our secrets

I’d like to get people to understand spirituality and Christianity at least through my short sighted eyes

And finally I’d like to choose my own bondage and not the one society has chosen for me.